Swearing Inside My Head

Micah and I have been watching this old(er) show through Netflix streaming called Dead Like Me.  It's pretty funny, charming, witty, and touching (at times).  But it is also an adult show, which means there are some "adult situations", occasionally some gore (it's about grim reapers and people die, okay?), and lots of language.  

What surprised me was the effect that the language has had on me.  I haven't started swearing or anything--well, not out loud.  It's just that my internal dialogue has gotten very creative.  I've been hearing words I don't normally use and I must say they do add a certain zest to a conversation...  that's going on inside my head. 

I am aware that some people don't really have an internal dialogue going on.  I'd love to say mine is a rather witty running commentary on what's going on in my life, but it's just not true.  I have kids, okay?  And while they are the joy of my life (they really are) they did kind of suck the brilliance out my thoughts.  Instead of using lovely words like plangent, magnanimous, or antidisestablishmentarianism, my thoughts are usually limited to, "What's that smell?  Oh wow.  Do not vomit.  It will only make it worse.  Do NOT vomit.  Breathe.  In and out.  Okay, not that deeply.  Shallow breaths.  In and out."  or, "I love this.  It's so wonderful when they can play nicely toge... it's too quiet.  What are they doing?  Oh my gosh.  Do not laugh.  I can't believe he/she (take your pick) got up/in there.  Do NOT laugh.  It will only make it worse..."  That's my internal dialogue these days.  Except now it probably looks like this: Do NOT ^&#*($@&(*)!@_ laugh!  It will only make it &*$(&#)@) worse...

But all this gives new meaning to some of the things I've been reading in my Bible lately.  Verses like, "I will set before my eyes no vile thing," (Psalm 101:3, NIV) and, "Though you probe my heart and examine me at night, though you test me, you will find nothing; I have resolved that my mouth will not sin."  (Psalm 17:3, NIV)  

Jesus says, "Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks."  (Matthew 12:34, NIV), which means it's only a matter of time before I'm not swearing inside my head anymore.  My internal dialogue will eventually become my external conversation.  Now the real question is, what do I do about it?  Do I stop watching the show?  (Do I hide under a rock?)  Or maybe I fill myself so completely with God's word that, even with a little leaven coming in, what spills out is still God's love and mercy.  Maybe I don't worry about the pulling the weeds out of my garden as much as I cultivate the good plants to crowd the weeds out! ;-)